Think before you advise

You and I have a life filled with experiences. Experiences are defined as struggle, success, failure, etc. We both know that a lot of what we do and say comes from our past experiences. The way we have lived our life in the past governs our choices and sometimes plays a role in our future too.

Sometimes these experiences are so powerful that they can also come in the way of what we say to each other as well. I know I have caught myself playing the role of an advisor not just at work but otherwise too. Being someone who is quick to advise, this week I realized how my advice is not based on what is good for the listener but is rather based on what I have experienced in life. Question is, how beneficial will that advice be for the person I am speaking to?

My life is my reality and my experiences are a result of choices and factors that governed my life. It might not be true for someone else. Therefore, how can my advice be taken as the absolute truth by the other? This leads me to state the importance of qualifiers. Give advice but with disclaimers stating that this is what I did or would do, having said that my response is based on my journey. Yours should be based on your reality.

Advice is not gospel truth, it’s a direction. To take that path is a decision that should be viewed with a personal lens as well.

Sometimes you might not agree with the direction people you are close to are taking. However, it is important to check yourself at that moment and ask, is it my place to advise the person or should I give space and allow the person to walk on their path that leads them to discoveries and learnings. You and I don’t do that because our gaze is on the outcome and not on the journey. The journey always teaches irrespective of the outcome and your tribe always is there irrespective of the direction you take.

The disclaimer here with this post: There are always perspectives and no absolute truths. There are no learnings that have universal applicability. Therefore, view the content above as a perspective, that may allow you to think differently and see if that leads you to growth.